When someone we love dies, flowers are a traditional and beautiful way to express sympathy. But many families today are choosing to ask for donations instead of flowers — directing the generosity of friends and family towards a cause that meant something to the person who has died. It is a deeply personal decision, and one that can leave a lasting legacy far beyond the funeral day itself.
Whether your loved one had a favourite charity, a cause connected to their illness, or simply preferred something practical over floral tributes, this guide will walk you through everything you need to know — from how to word the request to setting up an online donation page, collecting money at the service, and thanking everyone who gives.
Donations Instead of Flowers: Reasons Families Are Choosing This Option
There is no right or wrong choice — some families want both flowers and donations, and that is perfectly fine. But there are several reasons why funeral donations are increasingly chosen:
- A lasting legacy: A donation to a meaningful charity continues to do good long after the service.
- Personal connection: Many people choose a charity linked to the condition their loved one lived with, such as a cancer research charity, a dementia organisation, or a hospice that provided care.
- Practicality: Flowers require disposal after the service, which can feel difficult for the family. Donations sidestep this entirely.
- Guest comfort: Some mourners — particularly those attending from a distance or on a limited income — appreciate a small donation being just as meaningful as an elaborate floral tribute.
In 2026, online giving has made this easier than ever. Dedicated platforms built specifically for funeral memorial collections — including JustGiving and MuchLoved — allow families to set up a page in minutes and share it with guests worldwide.
Wording for Donations Instead of Flowers: What to Say and Where
The phrasing you use matters. You want to be clear and warm without sounding dismissive of those who may still wish to send flowers. The most widely used phrase in the UK is:
"The family requests donations in lieu of flowers to [Charity Name]."
Here are a few variations to suit different tones:
- "In lieu of flowers, donations to [Charity Name] would be gratefully received in memory of [Name]."
- "[Name] had a special connection with [Charity Name]. The family would welcome donations in their memory rather than floral tributes."
- "If you wish to make a donation in [Name]'s memory, the family have set up a page at [URL]. Flowers are also welcome."
- "Family flowers only, please. Donations in memory of [Name] to [Charity Name] may be made via [URL] or at the service."
If you are open to both, simply add "Flowers are also welcome" to any of the above. This wording typically appears on the funeral notice, the order of service, and any announcement shared online or in a newspaper.
Where to Include the Wording
- The death notice in a local newspaper or online
- The order of service booklet
- Any social media announcement
- The funeral director's website listing (if applicable)
- Email or text messages to close family and friends
Your NAFD-accredited funeral director will be very familiar with this wording and can advise you on the best way to communicate it to guests. You can find a trusted NAFD member near you using our free directory.
Choosing a Charity
Sometimes the choice is obvious — a hospice that provided end-of-life care, or a charity whose work the deceased championed throughout their life. In other cases, you may need to think it through.
Questions to Help You Choose
- Was your loved one affected by a particular illness or condition? Many families choose a charity linked to that cause.
- Did they volunteer, fundraise, or donate regularly to any organisation?
- Was there a local cause — an animal rescue, a community project, a foodbank — they cared about?
- Did they mention any wishes about where money might go?
If you cannot identify a single charity, it is entirely acceptable to ask for donations to a local hospice — most hospices rely heavily on charitable donations to fund their care, and this is one of the most common choices at UK funerals.
You can also split donations between two charities if your loved one had more than one cause close to their heart. Most online platforms support this.
Setting Up an Online Donation Page
An online memorial donation page makes it simple for guests to give — especially those who cannot attend in person, or who prefer not to carry cash to the service. There are two main platforms used at UK funerals:
JustGiving
JustGiving (justgiving.com) is the UK's largest online fundraising platform and is widely recognised by donors. You can set up a free memorial fundraising page linked to your chosen charity. Gift Aid can be claimed automatically on eligible donations, boosting the value of each gift by 25% at no cost to the donor. JustGiving does charge a platform fee on some transactions, so it is worth checking their current terms when you set up your page.
MuchLoved
MuchLoved (muchloved.com) is a platform designed specifically for funeral tributes and memorial pages. As well as donation functionality, it allows you to create a lasting online tribute with photos, memories, and messages — making it a particularly meaningful choice for families who want something more personal than a standard fundraising page. MuchLoved works with thousands of UK charities and is used by many NAFD member funeral directors as their recommended platform.
Step-by-Step: Setting Up a Memorial Donation Page
- Choose your platform — JustGiving for simplicity and reach, MuchLoved for a more personal memorial experience.
- Select your charity — search for your chosen charity by name. Check they are registered with the Charity Commission for England and Wales, the Office of the Scottish Charity Regulator (OSCR), or the Charity Commission for Northern Ireland.
- Create the page — add your loved one's name, dates, a photo if you wish, and a short personal message about why you have chosen this charity.
- Set a fundraising target (optional) — some families prefer not to set a target to avoid any pressure; others find a goal motivating for donors.
- Share the link — include it in the funeral notice, order of service, and any messages to family and friends.
- Enable Gift Aid — make sure your page is set up to collect Gift Aid declarations so eligible donations are automatically increased.
Most pages can be set up in under 30 minutes. Your funeral director may also be able to create or host the page on your behalf — it is worth asking.
Collecting Donations at the Service
Not everyone is comfortable giving online, and some guests will prefer to contribute in person on the day. There are a few practical ways to handle this:
Collection Boxes or Envelopes
A clearly labelled collection box or a basket of envelopes placed near the entrance or exit of the venue is the most common method. Envelopes are preferable as they allow donors to include their name and address, making Gift Aid claims possible on cash donations. Printed Gift Aid envelopes can often be provided by the charity directly — contact them in advance to request a supply.
Who Manages the Collection?
Your funeral director can typically oversee the collection on the day, count the cash, and arrange for it to be sent to the charity. This takes the administrative burden off the family entirely. NAFD member funeral directors are experienced in handling collections sensitively and professionally — ask your funeral director what they can manage on your behalf.
Combining Online and In-Person Giving
Many families find it works well to display the online donation page link on a screen at the venue or print it on the order of service, while also having a physical collection for those who prefer cash. This ensures no one is excluded.
How Much Should Guests Give? A Guide for Mourners
If you have been asked to make a donation in lieu of flowers and are unsure how much to give, there is no fixed rule. A useful guide is to think about what you might have spent on a floral tribute — typically £10 to £30 for a standard sympathy bouquet, or more for a formal arrangement. However, any amount is welcomed and appreciated. The act of giving is what matters.
If you are attending as a close family member rather than a colleague or acquaintance, you may wish to give more — but again, this is entirely at your discretion. There is no expectation, and no donation is too small.
How Your Funeral Director Can Help
Arranging a charity collection at a funeral involves several moving parts, and a good funeral director will guide you through all of them. NAFD member funeral directors in particular are trained to support families with every practical detail, including:
- Advising on suitable wording for notices and the order of service
- Recommending or setting up memorial donation pages
- Providing or sourcing Gift Aid envelopes
- Managing the collection on the day
- Counting, banking, and forwarding donations to the charity
- Providing a final total so you can update donors and the memorial page
All NAFD-accredited funeral directors adhere to a strict Code of Practice and are independently monitored, so you can be confident they will handle donations — and every other aspect of the funeral — with care and transparency.
Thanking Donors: A Simple but Important Step
Once the funeral has taken place and all donations have been collected, it is a kind gesture to thank those who gave. This does not need to be elaborate:
- Update the online donation page with the final total raised and a brief thank-you message.
- Post on social media if you announced the collection there, sharing the total and your gratitude.
- Send a personal note to anyone who gave particularly generously, if you have their details.
- Contact the charity — many charities will send a formal acknowledgement letter to the family, and some will plant a tree, dedicate a bench, or add the name to a memorial roll. Ask them what recognition they offer for funeral collections.
A simple message such as "Thank you so much for your kind donation in memory of [Name]. Together, you helped raise [total] for [Charity Name] — a wonderful tribute to someone so dearly loved" is all that is needed.
A Quick Checklist for Families
- ☐ Decide on a charity (or two)
- ☐ Set up an online donation page (JustGiving or MuchLoved)
- ☐ Include donation request wording in the funeral notice
- ☐ Add the donation link and/or wording to the order of service
- ☐ Arrange collection boxes or Gift Aid envelopes for the service
- ☐ Ask your funeral director to manage the collection on the day
- ☐ Update the online page with the final total after the service
- ☐ Thank donors with a brief message
Find an NAFD Funeral Director Near You
Arranging a funeral is one of the most significant things you will ever do, and you should not have to navigate it alone. An NAFD-accredited funeral director will handle every detail with professionalism and compassion — including helping you set up a meaningful charity collection that honours your loved one's memory.
Search our directory to find a trusted NAFD member funeral director in your area — every one of our 4,000+ members is committed to the highest standards of care.
Setting Up an Online Donation Page for a Funeral
An online donation page makes it easy for family and friends near and far to give in memory of your loved one — including those who cannot attend the service. In the UK, the most widely used platforms are:
JustGiving
JustGiving is the UK's largest fundraising platform. You can create a free 'In Memory' page in minutes, link it directly to your chosen registered charity, and share the URL in the funeral notice or order of service. Gift Aid can be claimed automatically on eligible donations, boosting each gift by 25% at no cost to the donor. JustGiving charges a small platform fee; check their current terms at justgiving.com.
MuchLoved
MuchLoved is designed specifically for tribute and memorial giving. As well as accepting donations, it allows family members to build a lasting tribute page — with photos, memories, and a candle-lighting feature. Many NAFD funeral directors integrate directly with MuchLoved, making setup seamless. Visit muchloved.com to get started.
Charities' Own Donation Pages
Many large UK charities — including Cancer Research UK, the British Heart Foundation, and Macmillan — have their own 'Donate in Memory' pages. These carry no third-party platform fee and often allow you to personalise the page with your loved one's name and story. Search '[charity name] donate in memory' to find the direct link.
Whichever platform you choose, include the full URL — or a QR code — in the order of service so guests can give at their convenience. Your NAFD funeral director can help you set this up or point you to the platform they most commonly work with.
How to Collect Donations at the Funeral Service
Collecting donations at the service itself is completely normal and your funeral director will have handled this many times before. There are a few ways to do it:
Collection Box or Envelope at the Door
A sealed collection box — provided by your funeral director or the charity — is placed near the entrance or exit of the service. Guests can place cash inside as they arrive or leave. Envelopes are often provided alongside the box so that donors can include their name and address for Gift Aid purposes. The sealed box is then sent directly to the charity.
Funeral Director-Managed Collections
Many NAFD funeral directors offer a formal donation collection service. They will count the money, record donors' details for Gift Aid, issue a receipt, and forward the total to the charity — often with a breakdown so the family knows the final amount raised. This removes any burden from the family on the day itself.
Hybrid Collections (Cash + Online)
The most effective approach is usually a combination: a collection box at the service for those with cash, alongside an online page for those who prefer to give digitally or who could not attend. Clearly signpost both options in the order of service so no one is left unsure how to contribute.
Always check with the venue — crematoria and churches are generally experienced in facilitating collections and may have their own preferred process.
How Much Should You Give as a Funeral Guest?
There is no set rule, and no one will judge you regardless of the amount. What matters is the thought, not the figure. That said, if you're looking for a guide:
- £5–£10 is a perfectly respectful amount, particularly if you are giving alongside others from a workplace or community group making a collective donation.
- £20–£50 is common among close friends and extended family who want to make an individual contribution.
- More than £50 is entirely appropriate for those who were very close to the deceased and want the donation to reflect that.
If you would normally have spent money on a floral tribute — which can cost anywhere from £30 to £80 for a bouquet — it is entirely reasonable to donate a similar amount instead. If you are helping a family plan the wider funeral and are thinking about costs, our funeral cost calculator can help you understand typical expenses.
If money is tight, giving nothing at all is also fine. Your presence at the service means far more to the family than any financial contribution. Many families who request donations do so precisely because they want to remove any pressure on guests who might otherwise feel obliged to spend money on flowers.
If you are donating online via JustGiving or MuchLoved, consider ticking the Gift Aid box if you are a UK taxpayer — it costs you nothing but increases your donation's value by 25%.
How to Thank People Who Made a Donation
Acknowledging the generosity of those who gave is a meaningful part of the process, and most families find it comforting to do. Here is how to approach it:
Personal Thank-You Cards
A handwritten card sent within a few weeks of the funeral is the most heartfelt approach. You don't need to write much — a simple acknowledgement of the donation, a line about how much it meant, and a mention of the final total raised (if you know it) is more than enough.
Group Announcement
If you have a large number of donors or used a public online page, posting a brief update on the tribute page or via social media is a kind and practical way to thank everyone at once. Many families include the total amount raised as a final tribute to the person who has died.
Charity Acknowledgements
Most registered UK charities will send a letter of acknowledgement to the family when a memorial collection is received, sometimes including details of how the funds will be used. Some — particularly hospices and smaller charities — may offer to send individual thank-you notes to donors who provided their contact details. Ask your chosen charity what they can offer when you set up the collection.
Your NAFD funeral director can advise on timelines and help you obtain a final donation total from any collection held at the service.
