When Someone Dies: Where to Start
Losing someone close to you is one of the hardest experiences in life, and the idea of arranging a funeral while you are grieving can feel overwhelming. The good news is that you do not have to do it all alone, and there is no rush to make every decision immediately. This guide walks you through the process step by step, so you know what to expect and can make choices that feel right for you and your family.
Most families begin making funeral arrangements within the first few days after a death. There is no legal deadline for when a funeral must take place, but most services in the UK happen within two to three weeks. Before the funeral itself can go ahead, you will need to complete one important step first: registering the death.
Step 1: Register the Death
In England and Wales, a death must be registered within five days at the local register office (in Scotland, you have eight days). You will need the medical certificate of cause of death, which is issued by the doctor who attended the deceased or, in some cases, by a coroner.
At the appointment, the registrar will issue you with:
- A green form (the certificate for burial or cremation), which your funeral director needs before the funeral can proceed
- Certified copies of the death certificate — you will typically need 5 to 10 copies for banks, insurers, solicitors, and government bodies
For a detailed walkthrough of the registration process, see our guide to registering a death in the UK.
Step 2: Contact a Funeral Director
You can contact a funeral director at any point — even before registering the death. In fact, many families find it helpful to make that call early, because a good funeral director will take a great deal of the practical burden off your shoulders.
When you first speak to a funeral director, they will typically:
- Arrange to collect your loved one and bring them into their care
- Talk you through the options available — there is no pressure to decide everything straight away
- Provide a written estimate with a clear breakdown of their fees and any third-party costs
- Explain the timeline and what needs to happen before the funeral can take place
Choosing the right funeral director matters. Look for a member of the National Association of Funeral Directors (NAFD), which means they are bound by a strict code of practice. For more on what to look for, read our guide on how to find the right funeral director.
Step 3: Decide Between Burial and Cremation
One of the first decisions you will need to make is whether your loved one will be buried or cremated. In the UK, approximately 77% of funerals involve cremation, though the right choice depends entirely on personal, cultural, or religious preferences.
Cremation
Cremation takes place at a crematorium and typically includes a service lasting 30 to 45 minutes. Afterwards, the ashes are returned to the family. Cremation is generally less expensive than burial.
Burial
Burial can take place in a local authority cemetery, a churchyard, a woodland burial ground, or on private land (subject to permission). If your family already has a grave plot, the cost will be lower than purchasing a new one.
Direct Cremation
If you want the most straightforward option, direct cremation involves cremation without a formal service. This is the most affordable option, typically costing between £895 and £1,500.
For a full comparison including costs, see our cremation vs burial guide.
Step 4: Choose the Venue and Set a Date
Where the funeral service takes place depends on whether you have chosen burial or cremation, and on your personal preferences:
- Crematorium chapel — most cremation services take place here; slots are usually 30 to 45 minutes
- Church or place of worship — followed by a committal at the crematorium or graveside
- Cemetery chapel — a service at the cemetery before burial
- Woodland burial ground — for a natural, outdoor setting
- Non-traditional venues — village halls, gardens, or even a family home
Your funeral director will check availability and book the venue on your behalf. Most families can expect the funeral to be held within two to three weeks.
Step 5: Plan the Service
The funeral service itself is entirely personal. There are very few rules about what a funeral must include, so you are free to create something that truly reflects your loved one’s life.
Choosing an Officiant
- A religious minister — if the funeral will follow a particular faith tradition
- A civil celebrant — who will write and lead a personalised, non-religious ceremony
- A humanist celebrant — for a specifically non-religious, person-centred service
- A family member or friend — there is no legal requirement for a professional officiant
Music
Most venues can play recorded music, and many families choose two or three pieces: one for the entrance, one during the service, and one as people leave. Live music is also an option, though it adds to the cost.
Readings and Tributes
A eulogy — a spoken tribute to the person who has died — is one of the most meaningful parts of any funeral. It can be delivered by a family member, a friend, or the officiant.
Flowers
A coffin spray is the most common choice, typically costing £100 to £350. Some families ask for donations to a charity in lieu of flowers.
Step 6: Choose a Coffin
Your funeral director will offer a range of coffins at different price points:
- Simple wood-effect or cardboard coffins — from around £300
- Solid wood coffins — from around £800 to £2,000 or more
- Eco-friendly coffins — wicker, bamboo, or wool, usually £500 to £1,200
- Personalised coffins — with printed designs or custom colours
Step 7: Understand the Costs
Funeral costs vary widely depending on your choices, but it helps to understand the two main categories:
- Funeral director fees — their professional charges for care of the deceased, the coffin, transport, and coordination
- Disbursements — third-party costs the funeral director pays on your behalf, such as cremation or burial fees and the officiant’s fee
The average cost of a funeral in the UK is approximately £4,141 (SunLife, 2024), though a simpler service can cost considerably less. For a full breakdown, see our guide to funeral costs in the UK.
If cost is a concern, do not be afraid to discuss your budget openly with your funeral director. You may also want to read our guide to planning a funeral on a budget.
What Your Funeral Director Will Handle
Once you have agreed the arrangements, your funeral director will typically:
- Collect and care for the deceased
- Prepare and submit all necessary paperwork
- Book the crematorium, cemetery, or venue
- Liaise with the officiant, florist, and any other suppliers
- Arrange the hearse and any additional vehicles
- Coordinate the order of service
- Manage the service on the day
Find an NAFD Funeral Director Near You
Arranging a funeral does not have to be daunting. An experienced, caring funeral director will guide you through every step. All NAFD members are committed to the highest standards of care, transparency, and professionalism.
This guide is provided by the National Association of Funeral Directors (NAFD), which represents funeral directing businesses conducting over 80% of all UK funerals. Find a trusted NAFD funeral director near you.
